Q & A: Expectation and Doubting the Twin Connection
Q: Anonymous >> How do you know if the person you thought was your TF, really isn’t? How do you know they’re feeling the same things you are when they keep shutting down every time you think you’re finally getting somewhere? How do you know you’re not just obsessed? I’m in a state of despair and confusion and don’t know what to think. Its been 11 years…and I can’t stop being drawn to him.
It’s hard to focus on myself when he’s hurting…I can’t help but to want to be there for him. Today was such a happy day for me, I finally got a job and a possibility of an even better one! But his pain…I feel it cutting me so deeply…I try to give him some of my strength and peace but he turns away and retreats into his shell. And I can’t do anything about it. It makes me feel like maybe he isn’t my TF.
Today he asked me to take him to the cemetery where his little brother is. I did and I gave him space, but felt that he wanted me with him, even though it was very nerve wracking for me. I asked if he wanted to be alone and he didn’t, so I sat with him at his brothers headstone but stayed quiet and prayed for TF. Before today we were getting so much closer, he’s been opening up SO much like never before but he shut me out today. And I don’t know why. I know he misses his brother but why tell me he wants me there just to shut me out?
A: Archeia Lady Faith >> Right now you are viewing things from the perspective of ‘you’ rather than ‘him.’ You are upset because he is not behaving the way you think he should or want him to be. You want to help him your way, the way that makes *you* feel good, not the way he needs or is asking for. This is a subtle form of control that is normal in twin relationships. He is showing you this part of yourself so you can recognize and release it, and your ‘hurt’ reaction is your ego stomping it’s feet creating drama in your head (and life if you allow it to boil over) in order to distract you from that self awareness.
Try to think of it from his perspective…he does want you there, because your very presence comforts him…your PRESENCE, not you *do*ing anything or him having to try to put what he is feeling into words. If he wants to talk, then talk. If he doesn’t want to talk, just be with him, no words necessary. And if he doesn’t want to be with you at all, then allow that too. Whatever the case, focus on sending him nothing but love through your heart connection which is what will help him the most.
If you are feeling anything other than love toward him…ie. if you are feeling ‘hurt’ or ‘disappointment’ or anything of that nature, that is what you are sending to him and what he will pick up on, consciously or not. And if he is picking up on that, it is only going to cause him to retreat even further into himself.
Really, the best way you can help him is by letting him sort out his own issues in his own way and in his own time, focus on the work you need to do, and send him love, always. He knows what he needs to do to heal himself, what he needs from you is respect and trust that he is doing what is best for him, and you, in the long run. I recommend going HERE and reading through my channeled messages to gain insight
I know what it’s like to be in your shoes, I went through it with my twin. Spent a lot of time focused on him and trying to heal his hurt and getting upset about him not responding in a way that made me feel good (that was a difficult truth to swallow at first) over and over again. It was freeing to understand that and finally be able to just allow the silence if silence was what he needed. There was a time when we talked multiple times a day. He has barely talked to me for about two years now. It was a difficult adjustment allowing him his ‘silence’ but those earlier lessons really helped me to trust him and let go of all control. xxx
Anonymous >> Yes…that is a difficult truth…I’m still struggling to swallow it. But you’re absolutely right. I don’t get what I want/expect and I start feeling negative and questioning everything he is to me or everything I am to him. And he shuts down for a while, sometimes a couple of days and I give him space. And he always comes back.
With Great Love,
I AM Archeia Lady Faith
through Jennith Lynn
For Channeled Messages, Twin Flame Readings, and Private Sessions with Jennith & Archeia Lady Faith visit: www.archeia.net . For Angelic inspiration, contests, and free one-card readings visit: www.facebook.com/archeialadyfaith
Sharing of this message is welcomed and encouraged. Please honor its integrity by linking directly to its source. Copying and pasting is permitted as long as the message is shared in its entirety, without making any changes or alterations, and including Scribe’s credit, copyright and websites.